Kids Versus Dogs

By Nola Redd
2006-08-22

Kids Versus Dogs

A recent discussion with my sister led me to undertake the challenge of comparing and contrasting dogs with children. I wrote an article in which dogs came out the clear winner. My heart, however, lies with my children, since I am a mother of three (four if you count my husband). Thus, I have compiled what, for me, can only be the truest list.

10. Your dog's preferred method of apology is to lick you with the tongue he just used to lick his poop. Your kids throw their arms around you, hug you tightly, and tell you they love you.

9. No matter how hard you try, you can't teach your dog to stop digging under your fence. But the first time you hear your child read to you, you'll feel like you have accomplished something major.

8. Your dog doesn't need reassurance before bedtime. A few good circles will make him happy. Your child wants you to spend every minute possible, from stories to monster solvent. It's good to be needed - at least until 11 o'clock.

7. When your dog stays up all night, he keeps the neighborhood up with him. At least new babies limit the torture to your house. Much better for neighborhood relationships.

6. When your dog fights you about taking a bath, you have a real struggle on your hand, which will continue until he is too old to fight anymore. Most kids can wash behind their ears by the time they are 5, and actually enjoy bathing - especially if bubbles are involved.

5. Your dog will chew up your favorite shoes. Your kids will only spit up on them.

4. Your mother-in-law is allergic to your dog, but not to your kids. Oh, wait, is that a good thing or a bad one?

3. Dog slobber is just plain gross. Kids kisses (usually) are not.

2. If your dog gets out at night and winds up in the pound, and your kid sneaks out at night and winds up in jail, at least you don't have to worry the authorities will put your kid to sleep.

1. Your dog can never really tell you if you've made a difference in his life. But your teen (or adult child) can make your heart explode when they tell you they've made the right decision because of your influence.

Article Pages:
» Kids Versus Dogs

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